Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wed-Locked 23

Previously on W E D - L O C K E D

kaif 5alaita y3a99eb, and what he said before he slammed the door! What does he mean? What did his mom say about me??

me " ana asfaa ,, a7mad bss..."
a7mad " bss sho?"
me " bs enaa..."
me " enaa....I really missed you w knt atrayak roo7ee and i got lonely, n then you didn't come,, w madrii a7maad, I just 7asait b'9eej, bs im sorry I got angry at you.."
a7mad " na3am?"
me " r yooou still mad at mee" *frown*
a7mad "oh la2 i'm not"


I couldn't face ro'9aa! y3ne sho agoolha ???
the conversation between me and my mom kept repeating in my head, especially when she said " a7maad ana mat'hmnee '3air ma9la7tek, w maknt bagoolk hatha etha maknt ahtam, 7aseb mn ro'9a! tra 9a7 ymkn t7asseb ennk tdaneeha bs enta bs t3arfha 7ag kamn youm, w youm kalamt'ha ana 3shan etdeer balha 3alaik gamat 7arejat 3alay w 5athat 9a7anha w 6l3at mn el dining room ba3ad ma ana roo7ii wadaait'ha hnak!! w galat enha bt5aleek t7bha 3nad feeni! taraha matehtam feek wala t7ebbik, kel ha yalsa tsaweee 7ag ma9la7at'ha"
this must be the worse day of my life...



fta7t 3ainy wla el '3rfa '9alaaam.. I looked over at the alarm clock that was 3dal my bed, it read ' 3:02 AM', so apparently I only slept for 2 hours wla shay che... uf magdar anaam! I turned myself to face ro'9a while she was asleep. I could see her face now only half covered with the blanket. I wanted to lean closer and kiss her forehead, bs I couldn't bring myself to do that...
mt'9aayeg ya naas met'9aayeg!
I got off the bed and was walking around the room like a maniac, thinking everything over. y3ne 9ara7a kalam ommy maydsh el ras, bs ma38oola she just makes it up?? Ya rabiii I'm soo confused!
8arart a9alee 9alat el7aaja 3shan ana m7tar big time! w ma'9n ayshay byra7ni '3air rabii...fa re7t w twa'9ait w kelshay .....


I heard noices around the room, doors closing, noisy footsteps. I forced myself to ignore them at first, bs they didn't go away so I got up, I was surprised enna a7mad makan 3dalee , Awal ma I lifted my head I spotted him in the corner of the room faresh el syadaa w ho y9alee. I wonder what he's praying, when sheft el sa3a kan ba3ada 3ala 9alat el fajer. hmm...
I just sat there looking at him, b3dain sra7t....I miss my mom, my dad, my brothers, and fatooma....wainhum? Should I call my mum tomorrow? bs A5er conversation we had didn't go all that well. I wonder how they're doing. They're not the only people I miss, I miss a7mad too, a lot, I've never felt this alone in my life, and it sucks uff!
I was sitting up so I bent my knees and hid my face between them trying to escape all those thoughts, my head started to hurt,, uff...marra w7da I felt a cold hand touching my hands fa ngazt and I looked was a7mad with his tired face ylas 3dalee 3al shebreyya

a7mad " did I wake u up?"

I looked at him for a bit then I nodded slowly.

a7mad " ohh asef ! "
me " laa 3adi.."
a7mad " I just...couldn't sleep"

He said while looking at the floor, then looking up into my face, he was in serious need of a hug, I can read it all over his face, bs I couldn't do it, awalan knt ta3bana to move, thaneyan he said we shouldn't be all touchy w I don't want to ruin things bainna more than how they are now...

me "oh.. laish?"
a7mad "mmm....madri knt afakker wayd,,,bout kelshay.."
me " ummm.... do you want to talk about it?"

He was silent for 2 seconds thinking, then he gulped and had a worrisome look on his face

a7mad " I probably shouldn't..."
me "akeed? you can tell me anything a7mad.."

nazalt my knees and I sat closer to him, hopping that he would give in and talk,, aba a3arf sho fee, shoo m'9aygenna mat7ammal seeing him like this. I reached for his hand and held it tight, brushing my thumb on the side of his palm softly, trying to raye7 him.
He looked down at his hands, and held on to mine tighter. Then he looked up at me

a7mad "I miss thiss...."
me "ha....? this what?"
a7mad " this... u know.."

When I saw his eyes they were so serious, I didn't expect him to say that after how he acted yesterday. I looked at him innocently with a slight frown

me "...ana b3ad..."

He brought his face cautiously closer to mine, carefully looking into my eyes while gradually coming closer and closer. w ana maga9art y3ne I knew I wanted it, I wasn't going to run away this time, I was garrebing my face to his too. When we were close enough he closed his eyes, and I did the same. our lips pressed lightly onto each other....I took my hand that wasn't holding anything and put it 3ala the back of his head softly fastening his head in that position. bs a7mad didn't do anything he just kissed me, like he had never before, he wasn't stopping I don't know how much it lasted, bs I had to take a break to catch my breath..but I wish I never pulled away....
I took my lips off of his to take a breath, bs when I did he pulled his head way back, He bit his lip as if holding on to the taste, then he took a deep breath and freed his hand from my grip while getting up from the bed.

a7mad "mm...I need to go sleep..."

My mouth slightly fell open when he got up, I didn't want him to! I was screaming NOOO inside of me, bs I didn't want to sound desperate so maglt shay and I just followed him with my eyes until he layed in his side of the bed and '3a66a 3umra bel la7af while his head was turned away from me.
So much for getting him to talk to me..uff...what's wrong with him? What the hell did his mom tell him?
I layed down on my pillow, thinking about the kiss, I mean we had a deal enna no kissing bs we kissed anyways? Does that mean that rule is banished? hmmm...I was just staring at his back, worried about him, about us.... until I dazed off and fell asleep.

Gmt the next morning with a terrible headache...I went to the bathroom and changed w kelshay and was walking around the room fixing some stuff thrown around. b3dain I looked over at the bed and I spotted this folded paper on a7mad's pillow. et7amast so I ran towards it bser3a and took it in my hand and unfolded it

' ro'9a,
Sorry I woke u up last night.....w mmmm sorry about the kiss..... I was tired and'll never happen again....
so sorry....

a7mad. '

Does he see me complaining!? why the hell is he apologizing....uff! I have to make sure it DOES happen again. urghh...I'm hungry.....
I ran out of the room, rushing to the dining area where all the food was. W I CAn't explain how hungry I was, I literally put some from every kind of dish on the table on to my plate! W kalaita bser3a gabel ma the evil mom walks in....since I need to talk to her.
After eating kelshay on my plate I was so satisfied. I made sure I ate a little extra since I may not be eating anything during the day like yesterday! I was so full w just yalsa staring at my empty plate when she walked in. I got up 3ala 6ool when I heard her voice talking to someone. I was looking directly at her bs she pretended I was not there. kanat tmshee wya this girl that I don't know, the girl was wearing a jalabeyya w looked way older than me, in her late 20's probably and she was definitely staring at me, curiously.

me "umm salam w 3alaikm 5alo.."

I said coldly, still looking towards her. She turned her face to me, looking extremely annoyed by my voice. but I didn't care...

me " b'3ait akalmech fe mw'9oo3"
a7mad's mom " 5aair,,,?"

I looked at the girl, who was curiously looking at me, then back at a7mad's mom, as if ashering enna she's there

me "mmm mw'9oo3 5a9 shwaya..."
a7mad's mom " ely btgooleena jdamyy... goolee jdam bntyy ba3ad..."
me " umm enzain..."

I got off the chair and stood jdamhm...

me "mmm b'3ait asa2lch, enti sho gltee be'9aab6 7ag a7mad? 3shan ho mb ra'9ee ygoolee,, w mn ams mt'3ayyer 3alay..."

Her face lifted up when I said that! 7a8EERAA!

a7mad's mom " walla maagltella shaay '3aair el 9dg....."
me " ay 9edg?"
a7mad's mom " enna entiii bss yalsa tl3beeen fee masha3raa 3shan ma9la7tch, fa geltella y7aaseb w yntebeh 3ala 3umraa...."
me " na3aaam? ma9laa7aat shoo enshalla?"
a7mad's mom " latsaween 3mrch '3abeyya jdamii,, 5e66etich waaa'97a! tbain a7mad y7ebbich 3shan b3dain ta5theen kel floosa w tg9een 3alaaih...! "

My mouth fell open 3ala her words! WHERE the hell does she get thesE IDEAs from!! anaa after floosa?? THAt's like my last conceernnnn! I was in shockk!

me ""
a7mads mom " laa anaaa 3yal? haaa tet7arainy '3abeyya maba3arf 5e66atch!"
me " mn waain ybtee hal kaalaam? mnoo ga9 3alaich?? ana a5er shay ahtam fee hwa el floos!!! "
a7mad's mom " lat7awleen tg9een 3alay ba3ad, ana mb l hal daraja '3abeyya"

I stood there jdamha silent, metfaj2a, y3ne this woman comes up with stories herself and beLieeves them! w a7mad believed her?

a7mad's mom " haa 5ala9tee kalamch?"

I gave her a pissed off look, but no answer, then she walked away. I went back and sat in my chair m8hooora! I can't belieeve hal 7rma! I was looking at them as they were walking out of the dining room, the girl, who apparently is a7mad's sis, looked back at me with a concerned look while following her mom until they were out of sight. I was thinking of a way to sort things out with a7mad, y3ne hay mb 7ala! I thought of maybe just throwing the salfa in his face, I can't believe he thinks i may be after his money. I calmed myself down with a couple of bites of the m3ajanat jdamee, then I got up and headed to our room.
I picked up my phone from the side table, 3gub I dialed in my mom's number and looked at it for a second metradeda, bs decided to call

toot tooot.......tooot tooot

mom "alooo"
me "aloo salam w 3alaikm"
mom " w 3alaikm el salaam,,, ro'9aa?"
me "haih mama ana ro'9a..."
mom "sh5baaaarchh 7beebtyy!'

dama3t when she said that, I miss her a lot, and I've been feeling alone for so long, there's SO much I wanted to say to her, bs I didn't want to sound weak, I didn't want her to get mad at me for complaining like last time. So I held my tears in and cleared my throat.

me " 7emdellaa mama...ento sh5baarkm?"
mom " ne7na b5aair.. ana hnee yalsa broo7y w obooch w e5wanch fl dawam kal 3ada..hehe....sh5bar a7mad wyach?"
me "oh hehe salmy 3alaihm....mmm a7mad...7emdella.."
mom "akeed? mb m2athetennaa?"
me "mamaa! laaa..."
mom "haha....."
me " mmmm mama tra ne7na radaina mn aspanya"
mom " oh haaih 5aberatni om a7mad, galw youm el jem3a fe '3da fe bait'hm 3shan nshoofch"
me "oh.."
mom " y3ne youmaain w nshoofech!"
me " haaih okaay....."
mom "ro'9oo yalla ana bseer ajahez el '3daa 7ag e5wanch w obooch"
me " oh enzain.."
mom " yalla ma3 el salamaa"
me "ma3...els.."

tooot ....tooot.....toooot

I layed my head on the bed, and let the locked in tears get out. So she knew I was here w ba3ad she didn't call? is that how it's going to be from now on?.... I miss them...I want to be there having lunch with them today...I want to get out of this hell hole......I thought I'm too old to ever say this..bss......aba ommyy...!


I was ratebing the papers on my desk, fl dawam. it was 5:00 pm now. Bs obooy tawwa gayelli enna mafee she'3L zyada elyoum. So it's one of my early days. etha this was yesterday knt bkoon wayd not today. I don't want to go back home just yet. I don't want to face my mom w ro'9a. i don't know what to do about all that messed up salfa. And me kissing ro'9a, 9dg ennyy '3abee! bs I couldn't stop myself.
I did kelshay that I can, 5ala9t she'3lee ratabt el 6awla now what?
i'll drive as slow as possible on the way back.
I decided to get up w go and face my reality. rekabt el sayara, w I headed home. i we9alt there 3al 5:30, which is still TOO early. et'hayazt lain ma I got out of my car.
I went into the house w kan hdoooo2. as usual y3ne. I walked to 9oub el 9ala (avoiding going to our room, avoiding ro'9a in other words..)
I saw my big sis there...

me " hallaa shaai5aa sh5baarech.."
shai5a " a7maad? sho yaybennek mn 9ba7 Allah 5air...haa obooy m6al3ennek mnwaagt ashooof!"
me " haahahha haaih"
shai5a " ta3al a7mad..mmm i need to talk to you"

ze'3t hnee..wayehha et'3ayyar when she said that. shai5a doum the joking kind,,, fa when she's serious y3ne it must be shay mohem. I rushed 3dalha w ylast.

me " 5aair sho fee??"
shai5a "it's about 7remtik.....I saw her today by the way....."

to be continued...........


Saturday, September 19, 2009

3eedkm mbarak <3 ~

kel snaa wntooo 6aybeeN my readers <3 =D

ta8balla Allah 9yamkm w 9ale7 el a3mal w kel 3am wnto b5air ^^!

3eedkm mbarak
w 3sakm mn el 3aydeen wl salmeen :D

Lots of love,

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wed-Locked 22

Previously on W E D - L O C K E D

then I put on another show, and another one. kent 7a6etenna 3ala Friends now, it was 11 pm, w knt mb makla lunch wala dinner, I admit I was hungry.....
It was a7mad he stepped in with an apology smile on his face. I was za3lana.....
I continued staring at the Tv, looking as pissed off as I possibly could.........
a7mad " I said I was sorry.."

kent ba3di za3lana, so I just looked at him coldly b3dain lafait rasy towards the TV ignoring his apology. His voice suddenly changed to a more serious angry one

a7mad " ro'9a youm 7ad yramsch 3al a8al 6al3ee... w youm 7ad yet2assaf he expects el 6araf el thani enna ytfahham shway 3al a8al.."

He said firmly, lafait rasy 9ooba w his eye brows were creased y3ne kan 9dg m7arrej. bs I didn't say anything back, I just looked back at him silently. He got up angrily and marched to the bedroom

a7mad " ufff ... I guess my mom was right about u .... ! "

and he slammed the bedroom door behind him.

7asait b'9eeeej feeni at that moment I didn't know what to do, kaif he slammed the door, kaif 5alaita y3a99eb, and what he said before he slammed the door! What does he mean? What did his mom say about me??
I got up, with my heart racing, 7asait enny sawait shay '3ala6 by being pissed off 3alaih. I walked to the door and opened it shway shway, I had this feeling enna lazem ara'9ee before his mom's words, whatever they were, actually y2athroon 3alaih, I want the spain a7mad that I had so much fun and actionat with baack!
When d5alt quietly I was looking at him, he was standing by the bed taking off his '3etra and 3gal but he turned his head 9ooby when he heard the door open.
he gave me a glare w looked back at his 3gal while placing it on the bed, w when I was walking ajrab w ajrab to him he pretended I wasn't there and walked to the bathroom. I walked behind him, still not knowing what to say. He walked into the 7amam but didn't close the door behind him, is that a sign enna he actually wants to talk? bs za3lan? uf madrii ...Bs I walked da5el el bathroom weyaa, he was taking off his kandoora, he had only a faneela and wzar on, which looked weird on him but still not too bad bs I wasn't concerned with that at the time. I was just looking at his face with tears about to escape my eyes, and a frown on my face. I wished I could just go and hug him and forget about whatever happened since it was very stupid to begin with!
He put his kandoora beside the sink and turned his body to face me, his serious eyes were looking at me

a7mad " Fe shay that you want to say ?"
me " ummm....."

He looked at me disappointed and sighed heavily then was about to turn to take off his faneela or something but I had to say somethingg!

me " a7maad.."

He turned back to face me, and folded his arms in an 'im waiting' position. I looked at the floor then looked back up at him miserably

me " ana asfaa ,, a7mad bss..."

a tear escaped my eyes while saying that but I wiped it wya my hands and took a deep breath to control them, he probably already thinks I'm so weak and all ! No need for more crying jdama 3ala as5af el ashyaa2

a7mad " bss sho?"
me " bs enaa..."

I looked at the floor, glt ymkn its easier to talk that way

me " enaa....I really missed you w knt atrayak roo7ee and i got lonely, n then you didn't come,, w madrii a7maad, I just 7asait b'9eej, bs im sorry I got angry at you.."

*door knock*

We both looked back when we heard the door then back at each other, his face expression had changed, He put his hands on my shoulders

a7mad " dgeega.."

and rushed to the door. From the way he ran I could tell he thought it was his mom. I stood there and masse7ed my stupid dmoo3 and washed my face, then got out of the bathroom, the voice I heard didn't sound like his mom.. more like.....

sara " RO'9AA OMG I HAVE to tell u smthn!! "

She was running into the room extremely mt7amsa I would say, a7mad walked quietly behind her into the room, y3ne 9dg makan wagta for sara to come, he was looking at the floor probably thinking.
She came and was waving her arms all around talking about some stupid thing that happened at the beach, her burning and 7e99a tanning perfectly, shay che I just looked at her with a fake smile on my face, moving my stare to a7mad every now and then, he was still in the same position. sara leaned closer to me and was whispering into my ears

sara " I came to do my first test byyy the way !"

then leaned back up and started laughing, My eyes opened wide when she said that ! y3neeeee 9dgg mb wagtaaaaa !

me " NOwww? sara! "
sara " ahaha shoo?"

she put her finger on her mouth and motioned with her eyes towards a7mad ena to shut up.Then turned suddenly to him, he gave her a fake smile when she was skipping to him holding my hands pulling me with her closer to him.

sara " a7maaaad I looooooove ur wife! she's so cool"

she said with a wide grin, looking at me then back at him, I let out a small silent chuckle then looked at him forcing a smile on my face. He looked at his little sister with soft eyes, but what obviously was a fake smile.

a7mad ' uhh hai...'
sara "So that means u agree with me! "
a7mad " haa?"

He suddenly become alert of what she is saying.. seriously this girl is crazy ! Does she really think she'll know if he likes me like thiss!

sara "I said I love ur wife she's so cool u said haai! So u love ur wife and think she's cool? heheee"
a7mad "oh"

He was looking at her smiling, bs then he turned his head and looked at me with eyes that are obviously hiding something, he had a fake smile on his face 3shan 5a6er his sis I guess, wayd ydale3ha w yjamelha ! Me on the other hand, just stared back at him, eagerly waiting for his answer bs at the same time wanting to finish the salfa bain me w a7mad. He just nodded nicely to her, bs then when he looked back at me kan wayha not the fake smiley kan the serious one for a second then he changed it back when he was talking to her.

sara " OKaay anywaays I have to go to 7e99aa! oh oh a7maddd give ro'9a my pin ok !! please and thank yoou! byeeeeee love u 2"

She shouted while walking out of the door, a7mad went to lock the door behind her, then was immediately back to his serious mode and walked to me

a7mad " what were you saying?"
me "umm ana? mm ena im sorry w chee"
a7mad " oh ya.."

He said coldly, while staring at me as if waiting for more. I just stared back into his face, waiting for him to realize enna I was done with what I had to say. He sighed b3d shway then ya ajrab to me w kan wayha '3air nw, calmer bs still mayrayye7

a7mad " mmm ro'9a enti kalamtee ommi elyoum?"

he said forcefully, el kelmat kanat '3a9eb te6la3 mn booza. I looked at him questionably, bss wddii a3arf what his mom told him !

me "mmm haaih el9b7..."
a7mad " ohh mmmmm"

He walked past me and was heading to the 7amam again.. he took off his faneela while walking. wait that's it? He's not going to ask me what she said ? w He's probably not ok he still looks za3laan. I decided to switch to daloo3a mode since he's less angry now.
I went to the bathroom and leaned 3al door

me " a7maadd" (in a dala3 voice)

Laf 9ooby with his unhappy face,

a7mad " na3am?"
me " r yooou still mad at mee" *frown*
a7mad "oh la2 i'm not"

He said coldly then laf bak to the mirror and started brushing his teeth. What is wrong with him? knt aba a9ee7 right there at that moment. I thought the day can't get any worse when he was not here, bs apparently I was wrong! I went to bed and snuggled into the blanket and hid my face under the blanket while tears escaped my eyes, as I cried myself to sleep while my tummy was aching mn el yoo3, this must have been one of the worst days of my life.


I couldn't face ro'9aa! y3ne sho agoolha ???
ma38oola she said that to my mom ma38ooola? ro'9a of all people! I mean I know my mom doesn't like her bs she wouldn't lie to me. Although when ro'9a was apologizing she cried which looked real and not like an act.. ufff m3rfff yarabii m3rf sho asawee, ana ma3rf amathel enna everything's fine, ya Allah I was so eager to see her earlier today until I talked to my mom.

'3asalt asnani w I just wore my boxers to bed, maknt mtfayej for anything, and the conversation between me and my mom kept repeating in my head, especially when she said " a7maad ana mat'hmnee '3air ma9la7tek, w maknt bagoolk hatha etha maknt ahtam, 7aseb mn ro'9a! tra 9a7 ymkn t7asseb ennk tdaneeha bs enta bs t3arfha 7ag kamn youm, w youm kalamt'ha ana 3shan etdeer balha 3alaik gamat 7arejat 3alay w 5athat 9a7anha w 6l3at mn el dining room ba3ad ma ana roo7ii wadaait'ha hnak!! w galat enha bt5aleek t7bha 3nad feeni! taraha matehtam feek wala t7ebbik, kel ha yalsa tsaweee 7ag ma9la7at'ha"
y3ne she looked so concerned when she said that to me, m3rf sho a9adg ya Allah, ma7s ro'9a che bs ba3ad ommy machd ga9at 3alay.
fe hal la7'9a bs knt aba adfn 3mri fe mkaan mn el ka2abaa, I need someone to talk to, I wish I could talk to ro'9a, bs sho agoolha? enti t7beeni wla yalsa tg9een 3alay? That doesn't sound right. yarabii ma3arf sho asaweee
I got into bed 3dalha, I couldn't see her face kanat 5ashetenna ta7at el la7af, knt aba a7rek el la7af to see her , cz walla i miss her mn el5a6er, I've never felt this way before. knt 7as b'9eej machd 7asait fee in my life ba3ad, banadt 3ainy thinking that this must be the worse day of my life...


yalla a7een seero 9alloooo : P