Previously on W E D - L O C K E D
kaif 5alaita y3a99eb, and what he said before he slammed the door! What does he mean? What did his mom say about me??
me " ana asfaa ,, a7mad bss..."
a7mad " bss sho?"
me " bs enaa..."
me " enaa....I really missed you w knt atrayak roo7ee and i got lonely, n then you didn't come,, w madrii a7maad, I just 7asait b'9eej, bs im sorry I got angry at you.."
a7mad " na3am?"
me " r yooou still mad at mee" *frown*
a7mad "oh la2 i'm not"
I couldn't face ro'9aa! y3ne sho agoolha ???
the conversation between me and my mom kept repeating in my head, especially when she said " a7maad ana mat'hmnee '3air ma9la7tek, w maknt bagoolk hatha etha maknt ahtam, 7aseb mn ro'9a! tra 9a7 ymkn t7asseb ennk tdaneeha bs enta bs t3arfha 7ag kamn youm, w youm kalamt'ha ana 3shan etdeer balha 3alaik gamat 7arejat 3alay w 5athat 9a7anha w 6l3at mn el dining room ba3ad ma ana roo7ii wadaait'ha hnak!! w galat enha bt5aleek t7bha 3nad feeni! taraha matehtam feek wala t7ebbik, kel ha yalsa tsaweee 7ag ma9la7at'ha"
this must be the worse day of my life...
fta7t 3ainy wla el '3rfa '9alaaam.. I looked over at the alarm clock that was 3dal my bed, it read ' 3:02 AM', so apparently I only slept for 2 hours wla shay che... uf magdar anaam! I turned myself to face ro'9a while she was asleep. I could see her face now only half covered with the blanket. I wanted to lean closer and kiss her forehead, bs I couldn't bring myself to do that...
mt'9aayeg ya naas met'9aayeg!
I got off the bed and was walking around the room like a maniac, thinking everything over. y3ne 9ara7a kalam ommy maydsh el ras, bs ma38oola she just makes it up?? Ya rabiii I'm soo confused!
8arart a9alee 9alat el7aaja 3shan ana m7tar big time! w ma'9n ayshay byra7ni '3air rabii...fa re7t w twa'9ait w kelshay .....
I heard noices around the room, doors closing, noisy footsteps. I forced myself to ignore them at first, bs they didn't go away so I got up, I was surprised enna a7mad makan 3dalee , Awal ma I lifted my head I spotted him in the corner of the room faresh el syadaa w ho y9alee. I wonder what he's praying, when sheft el sa3a kan ba3ada 3ala 9alat el fajer. hmm...
I just sat there looking at him, b3dain sra7t....I miss my mom, my dad, my brothers, and fatooma....wainhum? Should I call my mum tomorrow? bs A5er conversation we had didn't go all that well. I wonder how they're doing. They're not the only people I miss, I miss a7mad too, a lot, I've never felt this alone in my life, and it sucks uff!
I was sitting up so I bent my knees and hid my face between them trying to escape all those thoughts, my head started to hurt,, uff...marra w7da I felt a cold hand touching my hands fa ngazt and I looked up...it was a7mad with his tired face ylas 3dalee 3al shebreyya
a7mad " did I wake u up?"
I looked at him for a bit then I nodded slowly.
a7mad " ohh asef ! "
me " laa 3adi.."
a7mad " I just...couldn't sleep"
He said while looking at the floor, then looking up into my face, he was in serious need of a hug, I can read it all over his face, bs I couldn't do it, awalan knt ta3bana to move, thaneyan he said we shouldn't be all touchy w I don't want to ruin things bainna more than how they are now...
me "oh.. laish?"
a7mad "mmm....madri knt afakker wayd,,,bout kelshay.."
me " ummm.... do you want to talk about it?"
He was silent for 2 seconds thinking, then he gulped and had a worrisome look on his face
a7mad " I probably shouldn't..."
me "akeed? you can tell me anything a7mad.."
nazalt my knees and I sat closer to him, hopping that he would give in and talk,, aba a3arf sho fee, shoo m'9aygenna mat7ammal seeing him like this. I reached for his hand and held it tight, brushing my thumb on the side of his palm softly, trying to raye7 him.
He looked down at his hands, and held on to mine tighter. Then he looked up at me
a7mad "I miss thiss...."
me "ha....? this what?"
a7mad "mmm...uss..like this... u know.."
When I saw his eyes they were so serious, I didn't expect him to say that after how he acted yesterday. I looked at him innocently with a slight frown
me "...ana b3ad..."
He brought his face cautiously closer to mine, carefully looking into my eyes while gradually coming closer and closer. w ana maga9art y3ne I knew I wanted it, I wasn't going to run away this time, I was garrebing my face to his too. When we were close enough he closed his eyes, and I did the same. our lips pressed lightly onto each other....I took my hand that wasn't holding anything and put it 3ala the back of his head softly fastening his head in that position. bs a7mad didn't do anything he just kissed me, like he had never before, he wasn't stopping I don't know how much it lasted, bs I had to take a break to catch my breath..but I wish I never pulled away....
I took my lips off of his to take a breath, bs when I did he pulled his head way back, He bit his lip as if holding on to the taste, then he took a deep breath and freed his hand from my grip while getting up from the bed.
a7mad "mm...I need to go sleep..."
My mouth slightly fell open when he got up, I didn't want him to! I was screaming NOOO inside of me, bs I didn't want to sound desperate so maglt shay and I just followed him with my eyes until he layed in his side of the bed and '3a66a 3umra bel la7af while his head was turned away from me.
So much for getting him to talk to me..uff...what's wrong with him? What the hell did his mom tell him?
I layed down on my pillow, thinking about the kiss, I mean we had a deal enna no kissing bs we kissed anyways? Does that mean that rule is banished? hmmm...I was just staring at his back, worried about him, about us.... until I dazed off and fell asleep.
Gmt the next morning with a terrible headache...I went to the bathroom and changed w kelshay and was walking around the room fixing some stuff thrown around. b3dain I looked over at the bed and I spotted this folded paper on a7mad's pillow. et7amast so I ran towards it bser3a and took it in my hand and unfolded it
Sorry I woke u up last night.....w mmmm sorry about the kiss..... I was tired and confused........it'll never happen again....
Does he see me complaining!? why the hell is he apologizing....uff! I have to make sure it DOES happen again. urghh...I'm hungry.....
I ran out of the room, rushing to the dining area where all the food was. W I CAn't explain how hungry I was, I literally put some from every kind of dish on the table on to my plate! W kalaita bser3a gabel ma the evil mom walks in....since I need to talk to her.
After eating kelshay on my plate I was so satisfied. I made sure I ate a little extra since I may not be eating anything during the day like yesterday! I was so full w just yalsa staring at my empty plate when she walked in. I got up 3ala 6ool when I heard her voice talking to someone. I was looking directly at her bs she pretended I was not there. kanat tmshee wya this girl that I don't know, the girl was wearing a jalabeyya w looked way older than me, in her late 20's probably and she was definitely staring at me, curiously.
me "umm salam w 3alaikm 5alo.."
I said coldly, still looking towards her. She turned her face to me, looking extremely annoyed by my voice. but I didn't care...
me " b'3ait akalmech fe mw'9oo3"
a7mad's mom " 5aair,,,?"
I looked at the girl, who was curiously looking at me, then back at a7mad's mom, as if ashering enna she's there
me "mmm mw'9oo3 5a9 shwaya..."
a7mad's mom " ely btgooleena jdamyy... goolee jdam bntyy ba3ad..."
me " umm enzain..."
I got off the chair and stood jdamhm...
me "mmm b'3ait asa2lch, enti sho gltee be'9aab6 7ag a7mad? 3shan ho mb ra'9ee ygoolee,, w mn ams mt'3ayyer 3alay..."
Her face lifted up when I said that! 7a8EERAA!
a7mad's mom " walla maagltella shaay '3aair el 9dg....."
me " ay 9edg?"
a7mad's mom " enna entiii bss yalsa tl3beeen fee masha3raa 3shan ma9la7tch, fa geltella y7aaseb w yntebeh 3ala 3umraa...."
me " na3aaam? ma9laa7aat shoo enshalla?"
a7mad's mom " latsaween 3mrch '3abeyya jdamii,, 5e66etich waaa'97a! tbain a7mad y7ebbich 3shan b3dain ta5theen kel floosa w tg9een 3alaaih...! "
My mouth fell open 3ala her words! WHERE the hell does she get thesE IDEAs from!! anaa after floosa?? THAt's like my last conceernnnn! I was in shockk!
a7mads mom " laa anaaa 3yal? haaa tet7arainy '3abeyya maba3arf 5e66atch!"
me " mn waain ybtee hal kaalaam? mnoo ga9 3alaich?? ana a5er shay ahtam fee hwa el floos!!! "
a7mad's mom " lat7awleen tg9een 3alay ba3ad, ana mb l hal daraja '3abeyya"
I stood there jdamha silent, metfaj2a, y3ne this woman comes up with stories herself and beLieeves them! w a7mad believed her?
a7mad's mom " haa 5ala9tee kalamch?"
I gave her a pissed off look, but no answer, then she walked away. I went back and sat in my chair m8hooora! I can't belieeve hal 7rma! I was looking at them as they were walking out of the dining room, the girl, who apparently is a7mad's sis, looked back at me with a concerned look while following her mom until they were out of sight. I was thinking of a way to sort things out with a7mad, y3ne hay mb 7ala! I thought of maybe just throwing the salfa in his face, I can't believe he thinks i may be after his money. I calmed myself down with a couple of bites of the m3ajanat jdamee, then I got up and headed to our room.
I picked up my phone from the side table, 3gub I dialed in my mom's number and looked at it for a second metradeda, bs decided to call
toot tooot.......tooot tooot
me "aloo salam w 3alaikm"
mom " w 3alaikm el salaam,,, ro'9aa?"
me "haih mama ana ro'9a..."
mom "sh5baaaarchh 7beebtyy!'
dama3t when she said that, I miss her a lot, and I've been feeling alone for so long, there's SO much I wanted to say to her, bs I didn't want to sound weak, I didn't want her to get mad at me for complaining like last time. So I held my tears in and cleared my throat.
me " 7emdellaa mama...ento sh5baarkm?"
mom " ne7na b5aair.. ana hnee yalsa broo7y w obooch w e5wanch fl dawam kal 3ada..hehe....sh5bar a7mad wyach?"
me "oh hehe salmy 3alaihm....mmm a7mad...7emdella.."
mom "akeed? mb m2athetennaa?"
me "mamaa! laaa..."
me " mmmm mama tra ne7na radaina mn aspanya"
mom " oh haaih 5aberatni om a7mad, galw youm el jem3a fe '3da fe bait'hm 3shan nshoofch"
mom " y3ne youmaain w nshoofech!"
me " haaih okaay....."
mom "ro'9oo yalla ana bseer ajahez el '3daa 7ag e5wanch w obooch"
me " oh enzain.."
mom " yalla ma3 el salamaa"
I layed my head on the bed, and let the locked in tears get out. So she knew I was here w ba3ad she didn't call? is that how it's going to be from now on?.... I miss them...I want to be there having lunch with them today...I want to get out of this hell hole......I thought I'm too old to ever say this..bss......aba ommyy...!
I was ratebing the papers on my desk, fl dawam. it was 5:00 pm now. Bs obooy tawwa gayelli enna mafee she'3L zyada elyoum. So it's one of my early days. etha this was yesterday knt bkoon wayd mstaans..bs not today. I don't want to go back home just yet. I don't want to face my mom w ro'9a. i don't know what to do about all that messed up salfa. And me kissing ro'9a, 9dg ennyy '3abee! bs I couldn't stop myself.
I did kelshay that I can, 5ala9t she'3lee ratabt el 6awla now what?
i'll drive as slow as possible on the way back.
I decided to get up w go and face my reality. rekabt el sayara, w I headed home. i we9alt there 3al 5:30, which is still TOO early. et'hayazt lain ma I got out of my car.
I went into the house w kan hdoooo2. as usual y3ne. I walked to 9oub el 9ala (avoiding going to our room, avoiding ro'9a in other words..)
I saw my big sis there...
me " hallaa shaai5aa sh5baarech.."
shai5a " a7maad? sho yaybennek mn 9ba7 Allah 5air...haa obooy m6al3ennek mnwaagt ashooof!"
me " haahahha haaih"
shai5a " ta3al a7mad..mmm i need to talk to you"
ze'3t hnee..wayehha et'3ayyar when she said that. shai5a doum the joking kind,,, fa when she's serious y3ne it must be shay mohem. I rushed 3dalha w ylast.
me " 5aair sho fee??"
shai5a "it's about 7remtik.....I saw her today by the way....."
to be continued...........
2 weeks ago