Previously on W E D - L O C K E D
I closed my eyes, and got lost in my thoughts and miseries, 7asait enna my family was cloned and replaced by those people that I did not recognize at all. It was scary. . .
O N E . w e e k . L a t e r
mom " RO'9aaa!! LBSEee ur white dress now! 7ermat el mkyaaj is coming any second!!!!!!!!!"
I've been staring at the mirror for the past hour, not looking at my face but sar7ana and thinking about EVERYThing that happened this week! From dropping out of my scholarship for AUS, to buying this wedding dress that I looked hot in ( even though I did not want to get married, It's still MY Wedding, I had to get a hot dress! to enjoy it a tiny bit at least? :( ...)
Even though I tried to push the thought behind todays Event, I couldn't help NOT thinking about the mmm,, other part of marriage,, I mean does marrying him mean I have to sleep with him???!!! I do NOT think I'm ready, although my mom had the 'talk' with me this week ( let me tell you it was the weirdest thing EveR! ) and I cried when she finished talking because everything was happening too fast for me! WAy too fast. But I mean, lailat el da5la has always freaked the hell out of me, and in this situation it just freaks me out MORE! I did not even see his face yet ( yes my dad did not allow me to see him or talk to him, I did not really hear the excuse he used because i stopped taking what he said into consideration because it all did not make any sense anymore!) I was literally a corpse today, even though I felt like crying I couldn't, it was like I have used up ALL the tears that my eyes had during this week! ANd the make up that they put on my face made me look more like a corpse, or a clown corpse! But I did not bother complaining.
mom " ro'9a 10 minutes w bn6al3ch!" *rushed in and out of the room *
For some reason my mom was so excited about the wedding, she interpreted my corpse-ness as that I'm 'nervous', It was like she forgot that I was forced into all of this . . .
I took one more look at the full view mirror near the door, and everything seemed perfect, the hot strapless dress that perfectly fitted my body, I wasn't too thin, nor too fat, y3ne normal, right in the middle, I worked out a lot because I always thought I would want my husband to be hot, so it's only fair if I was fairly hot too. I got a weird feeling in my stomach at that thought, it hurt. But I ignored it, and looked at the 6agem I was wearing, It was huge, and full of diamonds, y3ne ana ma3rf fe hal swalf but it looked EXPENSIVE, ok I can't deny the fact that i Loved it, bs I knew enna they only bought it for me to show how 'rich' they are to the guests sitting out there... oh shit! mabgaa shaay I'm going out any second!! *GULP*, as I said everything seemed perfect on the outside, except the fact that I was not smiling, and I did not even consider that as an option, I do not know how to fake smile, that's just how I am.:) ( yes I know what you're thinking, my Wedding album Is going to be filled with pictures of my corpse face that I have today but at that moment that was my LAST concern!)
My mom rushed back in and signaled me with her hand to come, I tightened my hand around the bouquet I was holding as they were starting to quiver,inhaled deeply, and took my first step, this was it, starting tonight my life would be different, I'm a married woman now(who did not yet see her husband -__-), I wanted to cry but I held it in and walked into the hall as soon as the song for my da5la started playing.
I walked step by step not knowing what the song they put up for me was ( I usually listened to english songs, arabic songs on the other hand were not my thing, although I knew very few of them thanks to fatooma) ,I looked towards the right wall, then the left wall, not bothering making any eye contact although I spotted some of my cousins smiling towards me. It seemed like a century has passed by the time I reached my destination. My mom came towards me with a fake smile, I could tell she was angry because I should have walked more on the stage but I did not want to. She sat beside me and complained about that, but I did not bother explain myself as I was staring into the space in front of me, with no expression on my face whatsoever.
mom *holding my hands* "ro'9a, look at me please"
she said that with the voice of my mom that I haven't heard for a while, a concerned sincere voice, I couldn't ignore it, I've missed it so much, so I turned my face towards hers.
mom " ro'9a ana asfa, please don't hate me and your dad, I hope one day you will forgive us for all of this"
her eyes were starting to tear. She was my mom, I couldn't help looking at her like this although they've put me through hell, so I just nodded to her and gave her a slight smile. I couldn't speak, my tongue was tied, 7asait enna if I said one word my tears would be following my words. She gave me a soft hug and then ran to welcome the people coming in. I felt so lonely sitting up there with everybody staring at me, something was missing, it wasn't long before I noticed what was missing, I saw her approaching me walking on the stage with her beautiful figure, her dress was golden, roman style and she left her hair in a wavy messy, yet amazing hairdo! My eyes brightened at the sight of her and I couldn't help not smiling back to her.
fatoomaaa " ay roo'9oo! enti 3aroos 3aib lat9ar5eeen! hhehe fashalteennaa!"
she came and sat beside me holding my hands, and we both flashed a smile to the camera woman as she took a picture of us. I turned my face to her as soon as we were done as my face went back to its previous state.
fatooma "ro'9aaa smiile for meeee!"
me " fatooma I can't,, im freaking out!"
fatooma " mn shoooo??"
me *whispering* "Lailat el da5laaaaaaaa!"
fatooma *opened her eyes wide* "shit, I forgot about that! What are you wearing ? and R u gonna do it???"
me " first! of course I'm not going to! second my mom bought me lingerie awana, but I secretly brought with me a long sleeve and pants PJ!" *i said that with a proud look on my face*
fatooma " *sighh* call me tomorrow and tell me all about it!"
me " of course ! I'll wake u up WAYd early I promise ;]"
fatooma " I don't mind :),,, omg omg bnshoof ur future husband soon"
My face went blank at that sentence. . . Myyy future husband, what was his name? a7mad, I was so scared of meeting him, afraid of what he might or might not turn out to be. I was a bit excited though, but the excitement was so irrelevant to how scared I was at that moment. And fatooma was able to know what was going in my mind just by looking at my face, so she just hugged me and let go looking at my face searching for a reaction of some sort.
me " fatoomaa"
fatooma " yes?? "
me " I love you :(, ma3rf what I would've done without YOu"
fatooma " hehe I know u do ;)!.. shit ro'9a ur mom is coming a7s she'll scold me she's been glaring at me since I came up , maybe i sat too long!!"
me "heheh! 3ady whatever, sho y3ne she wants me to die alone here! w btw la7a'9tee how none of my aunts came up to take pictures with me? I don't care y3ne whatever, but still wth "
fatooma " elmhm you have a picture with ME! that's all that matters my love, w nw let me run before your mom eats my head! hehe ill be right there watching you ;)"
me " hehe ok :) "
I saw my mom walking towards me as she sat next to me and sighed. then she pointed at a woman near the main entrance.
mom " ro'9a, hay om a7mad, the one wearing red"
me " mmmmm "
She looked like what I expected her to look like, not too chubby but matroosa y3ne, with a classical updo, and an upright posture talking to everybody else with her nose up. mmmm I wonder if a7mad looks like her, she wasn't that pretty, although I was too far away from her to judge.
mom " ro'9a a7een estwat el sa3a 12 w n9, el reyayeel ytrayoon barra3 w bnda5elhm any minute now, w lat5afain kelhm m7arm, mb lazm tet'3a6ain"
My face was expressionless, I did not say a word, but she knew I heard her so she just looked away at the guests. All I could think of at that moment was enna AHHH THEY're coming in! mabaaaaa a5aaaf, this all means that it's getting closer to the eNd of this wedding ! and you know what comes after the wedding!!! the wedding niiiight! But of course, I did not show the fear on my face. My mom held my hand helping me stand up, as all the guests started wearing their 3bi. As soon as everybody in the hall was ready, I inhaled deeply and managed to exhale, his mom came on the stage too. The music stopped, in order to get the music for the men to come in on. And I could see fatooma beside the stairs of the stage waving to me giving me a thumbs up. My heart started beating faster. . .
The music started, and the door started opening, and the men came marching in, you know how they walk chanhm in an army or something. I saw my dad in his bsht, thn Tariq on his right wearing a ko7lee kandoora then 3bdulla in his usual white kandoora on Tariq's right, then on the far left I could see a man I've seen before, I recognized him, he was 3ami 9ale7 alX, modeer my dad looking all formal in his black expensive bsht. My heart beats became faster as my eyes spotted the person between my dad, and 3ami 9ale7 . . .
It was him. . .
2 weeks ago