Saturday, July 17, 2010

Wed-locked 32

Previously on W E D - L O C K E D



I sat in the waiting area since the doctor galatlee atraya barra3
my heart racing and aching all at the same time

i looked at her weirdly....

me "sho 8a9dich leave me alone?"


she looked up at me pissed off

ro'9a "i told u to stop..."
me "ro'9a sho feech? Is it your hand?"
ro'9a "NO a7mad it is not my's u..."
me "me?"
ro'9a "yes a7mad i don't have to hide it anymore"
me "hide? what the hell are you talking about ro'9a!"
ro'9a " a7amd please stop acting stupid fatooma told me awal shay enna she 'heard' how people keep talking about how i ruined your plans of getting married to another woman and i got in the way bs ana glt laa .....akeed chatheb....making excuses for u......and then 7anan herself....."


me "'9a it was nothing like that....w i told u ams my past is my past what I did back then doesn't matter anymore.."

ro'9a "do u know what all the girls call me a7mad? do u?"


I can't bare seeing her like this......

it's all my fault




Crying in my mommy's lap sure made me feel better..

I looked at him and sighed....i feel so tired i don't care anymore whatever they want to do with me...

a7mad " 3amty ...3amii... lata3boon 3markum ana batm wyaha w babat hnee..."


me " I haatee u..."

I said with a resentful tone as I held part of his shirt tight in my fist..

me "I hate u..."

I repeated while still being held in his arms...
his warmth drove me to sleep ....


fta7ti 3ainy w looked around until I found him...he had pulled the small sofa as close as he can to my bed while his two arms were folded under his head on the side of my bed...

i noticed his phone was beside one of his hands
opened his calls w i noticed enna he had a miscall just an hour ago mn ra8am '3areeb....without hesitating I dialed the number and held the phone to my ears...




girl " Hallaa!.......7abeeebiii....i.."

I quickly closed the call before she could hear my it became faster......I could recognize that voice anywhere

it was was 7anan....


i could hear him stretch and felt him pick his phone up

a7mad "uff"

all I could here were his footsteps moving away from me ....the door screeched open then a shut.....I opened my eyes and the room was empty......

ra7 yetti9iL feeha?


while I was in deep thought about my emotional and physical state the door of my room flew first I thought it was a7mad but the girly voices told me otherwise

sara "SHhhhhhhh She's aSLEEP SHWAY SHWAY! "
fatooma "oooopss sorry"


me " wait a minute....what time is it??"

they both looked at me with guilty smiles

sara "mmmm about 3 am hehe"


atooma "soo how iss ............mmm....."

she looked at sara then looked back at me...


sara "hoooww is what?"

fatooma gave me a 'yikes' ana I was so relaxed about it

me "you mean how is who...."


sara "what's wrong with him??"
me "mmm nothing's particularly wrong with him....per say....maybe his brain bs..."

i said resentfully

sara "weeeeeee r u guys fighting?"


i told her........everything that happened
all that happened yesterday leaving nothing out...she had her mouth open during most of the conversation... I wasn't sure about what that meant....
then when I finished talking she was silent for a few seconds


sara "but...."


sara "but.......if he was going to marry her he would have argued with dad about marrying you...but he didn't..... at all......I even talked to him about marrying you and how he felt about it gabel..... and he said he didn't mind getting married "


I fell silent after that thinking....then faj2a the door opens and a7mad walks in........
I looked at him then stared at the phone is his hands

a7mad "oh asef! maknt a3arf enna fe 7ad da5l"

he said when he saw that fatooma was here....he turned to go back out but...

sara " A7MAD! get back in here! now!"

me and fatooma opened our eyes wide at her! what was she trying to do??
he turned looking confused and walked in closing the door behind him

a7mad "yes sara?"



He stood fe mkana looking at her intensely...

sara got up and stood in front of him looking almost as intense as he was

sara “who’s this 7anan person ?”

his eyebrows cringed and he turned his face towards me looking angry..then 6ala3 el ar’9 thinking for a second... then lifted his head up again

a7mad “.... can I please talk to ro’9a..... alone....”
sara “bs u didn’t answer my question...”
a7mad “sara...please”

he said with an angry tone that gave me a shiver........fatooma got up gave me a ‘yikes’ look w 6l3at with sara....
and they closed the door behind them...

I admit it, knt wayd 5ayfa menna ! i’ve never seen him this serious....well i have bs che u know when a person y7asesch ennch msawya shay ‘3ala6 and u get that disgusting feeling in your stomach... i didn’t show it though i folded my arms and looked directly at him trying my hardest to hide the fear inside me...a9lan its not like he’ll do anything to me i kept telling myself
he walked towards me in slow steps.. our very angry stares met only once as he gave his back to me when he got to my bed and sat 3dali..
I could feel his body stiffen in anger... he took a deep breath trying to ease himself i guess..

a7mad “ why did u tell her?”

he said with an angry tone...he has never talked to me this way .....kan 9dg m3a99eb..

me “ everyone else knew y3ne laish a5sh menha...”

he turned towards me surprised at my words with a confused face...still angry though

a7mad “ sho kel7ad? she’s my sister ro’9a! “
me “so?”
a7mad “ sho so .. mala da3ee tseer t5abreen kel7ad fl 3alam enna we’re fighting enzain...what’s our business is our business and no one else’s ! “
me “ she deserves to know”
a7mad “ la ro’9a ana asif bs no one is supposed to know “
me “enzain kel7ad y3arf why not her too!”
a7mad “ laaa r u even listening to urself? ok a lot of people know about the rumor but no one has to know enna we’re fighting about it!”

i just looked at him annoyed and rolled my eyes

a7mad “ elmohem enna makan la da3i at all tgooleen 7ag e5ti of all people...
w ana maknt aba a7arj 3alaich stop 7arakatch el6fooleyya ne7n mb yahal”

he looked at me in disgust, got up, and slammed the door behind him.
i felt like someone punctured a hole in my stomach....what the hell, how did all this get flipped? kaif it’s all my fault a7een? ana masawait shay ‘3ala6 ........but why do i feel so much worse now... the pain inside me turned into tears in my eyes...
physical and mental pain are not a good combination... I became more aware of the pain in my hands ...transferring to my tears ... shivers..... i was slowly drifting away into unconsciousness

ma w3ait ella it was morning and i can hear the nurse’s voice above me.... shway shway i opened my eyes w it was only me and two nurses fl ‘3rfa

nurse #1 “good morning maaam how do u feeel?”
me “eehh”

I stretched in my place and took a deep breath then looked at her

me “better i think what happened?”
nurse#2 “your blood pressure increased last night so you lost consciousness but everything is good now don’t worry, you’re going to be checked out in a few hours! “
me “oh ok thank you..”

I let out a yawn... I wonder where everyone is.. i can’t ignore that feeling in me...i’m such a girl 3gub kel ha i was annoyed enna a7mad wasn’t here when I woke up...
what the hell is wrong with me......mfroo’9 i don’t want to see him after thiss
the nurses were done changing my IV and everything else then 5alw my breakfast jdami w ft7ooli el tv on some random channel

i only had one hand that i can use fa fta7t el cover w was struggling to move el other stuff to put it down mkan when you know who walked in...
lafait rasi awal manfta7 el bab bs when our eyes met i quickly looked back at my plate his face wasn’t the same one from he was just the calm a7mad...meanwhile i was still struggling with hal stupid cover of the stupid plate ...
he did not say a ya 3ndi w very gently 7a6 eeda 3ala eedi w sneaked his fingers slowly taking the cover mn eedi making sure his hand softly touches mine making that tingly feeling in my stomach.....
i quickly took my hand away as he was placing the cover on the side table of the bed.

I took the little sandwich they had with one hand and took a bite staring at the tv ignoring a7mad..ho bs kan yals 3dalii 3al shbreyya ba3ad saying nothing...
he reached in and opened the covers of the other things for me..... uff knt aba a9fa3a... i can do it myself! but i refused to say a word.. 5ala9 malait la3at chabdee ..... i was too tired to be mad at him a9lan i said nothing
i finished my sandwich quickly and quietly sipped my juice, with my eyes on the tv...

a couple of minutes later the nurse knocked and came in

nurse “hi maam how are u dooingg? hello siiir”
me “mmm i feel better a bit”
nurse “ohh good good....your father signed the sign out papers just noww”
me “oh ok”

she turned her face to a7mad who was sitting on the sofa behind her

nurse “r u her husband siir?”
a7mad “yes”

he nodded

nurse “oh ok good you can help her change her clothes”
a7mad “mmm ok”

ok? SHO OK ! i can change my own clothes!! i looked down at my arms and feet and thought that again........ok maybe i can’t bs mafee anyone else who can help me? sho haa uff....although i was so pissed, i kept my mouth shut, i just looked at him in disgust 7ag a second then looked away

the nurse gave us a cute smile and walked out

a7mad “ummmm....”

he looked towards me for a reaction...but i gave him nothing

a7mad “mmm what do u want to wear?”

sho mshkelata.......i turned my head away from him in anger uhhhhhhhhhh 8ahrenni mb mtfayjatlaaa why can’t the nurse change mee.......uf maba a7arj 3alaih ba3ad mb mtfayja agool shaay

a7mad “ermmm... i guess i’ll just choose ayshay roo7ii”

is he serious?? i turned towards him to see what he is doing.. and he was actually choosing 6alla3 a short red baggy dress w laf 9oobi holding it up in his hands

a7mad “I guess this will’s easy to put on”

he walked towards me, giving me a smile.... aaaaaaaaaaah make him go awaaay y8har y8har y8har!! i was just giving him a ‘look’.

a7mad “emm enzain lazm tet7arkain shway heh”

he reached his hand on my sleeve.. i shook his hand off my shoulder

me “i can do it myself”

i said with an angry tone grabbing the dress with my hand avoiding looking at his face.....

a7mad “mmm la ro’9a u cant lat3andeen...”

gal softly, with a ‘caring’ kind of voice not a bossy one....

me “maba...please”

I mumbled with a low voice in desperation....I really don’t want him to touch me right now.....i’m not in the mood walla.....w maba a3a9b 3alaih zyada cz a3arfa w 7araka el seducing mala...and what I hate the most is that i’d actually react to them....i hate that he has that kind of effect on me...uf

a7mad “elly yra7ych”

he put down the dress on my lap

a7mad “bazgr sara to help u”

he sadly walked out of the room, why does it bother me enna ho za3lan! it shouldn’t! i’m mad at him yes! Sara came on with a smile w sa3adatni with the dress then the 3abaya, she only asked about how I am, we didn’t talk much.

My dad later walked in to my room with my mom w helped collect my stuff then wado elstuff sayarat a7mad. While I was walking out I saw fa6ooma wagfa 3nd el bab, so i went to talk to her....

fa6ooma “ heyy”
me “hii”

I managed to shurg a smile

fa6ooma “ how r u? b5air? galo ams u collapsed cz of ur blood pressure w madri sho?”
me “emm,, ya a7s im better now”
fa6ooma “ok that’s good, a7een mraw7a?”
me “ya i guess”
fa6ooma “ ok yalla bye”

she gave me a hug, then looked at me concerned

fa6ooma “don’t be too hard on a7mad”
me “a7mad? doesn’t he deserve it?”
fa6ooma “look i think i judged him too early, mmm ybayen 3alaih enna he cares about u, if he didn’t makan bytm the whole time here with u , trust me, i know”

i gave her a frown then hugged her again

me “i dont know fa6ooma..”
fa6ooma “ yalla let me take you to the car”

she held my hand w helped me walk to the car, my leg was less injured than my hand so shalo el jbs 3ana but it still hurt, and was wrapped up with a 5elga thing....

She got me into the car and then she left, Sara came in 3dalee then a7mad sat in front to drive us home, gabel manroo7 mama came and gave me a kiss good bye, then we left

As soon as we were home, sara walked me to our room, then excused herself. I went w sat fe our 9ala t3bana...
A7mad walked in with my handbag, with his head down, d5al our bedroom, I looked at him, thinking about wat fa6ooma told me....
His mom walked into the 9ala, and paused for a second when she saw me, I don’t know if I was imagining stuff, but I could’ve sworn she looked worried for a second then she looked to the bedroom

om a7mad “a7maaad?”

he came out, sallam 3alaiha w bas ras’ha

a7mad “halla ommy “

ok now i’m being rude, I tried getting up bs i cringed at the pain cz bel’3ala6 7a6ait pressure on the wrong leg, a7mad saw me so he came w helped me up, i shook his hand off awal ma wgaft

me “Salam w 3alaikm 5alo “

om a7mad “ w 3alaikm el salam”

She looked at me with an expression-less face, I think she’s being nice to me!

om a7mad “a7mad a7atjk fe shay ta3al shway....”

he nodded and followed her out of the 9ala....what could she want? I hope it’s nothing about me, mb mtfayja for any more seriously..... I just want to sit and watch tv without thinking....

He came quietly in a few minutes later and closed the door behind him

a7mad “tbain takleen shay?”

I continued looking at my Blackberry that I held in one hand and shook my head

a7mad “akeed?”

I know he was just trying to make a conversation so I ignored him

a7mad “so ur just not gonna talk to me?”

I looked at him for a sec, saying nothing then looked back again at my phone, he walked away za3lan to the room, ksar 5a6ri a bit bs i ignored it.
I watched tv until fl lail, a7mad walked in with a plate for me , 7a6a on the table in front of me

a7mad “ here’s 3shach, please keli mb zain che”

He looked at me with concern then dash el’3rfa w he opened the TV there. I got up w ylast 3al ar’9 w ate! I was so hungry, i wanted to hug him for getting food, but ya i didn’t

I slept well that night, i miss my bed, or our bed? ah whatever I slept long before a7mad came in a9lan

The next 5 days were a blur of the same thing again and again
I didn’t talk to him yet, I don’t know if i’m angry at him anymore, I just don’t know what to say to him, I know it’s only been a couple of days bs I miss talking to him so much, Fa6ooma has tried convincing me to let go of this dala3 and be a grown up about it, bs madrii

I was laying down 3al sofa that day being lazy, kan almost 2 pm el ‘9hr when sara knocked the door

me “come inn”

she peeked her face checking then came in w ylsat 3adalii

sara “ ro’9aa i need to talk to u”

3adalt my yalsa and sat up looked at her concerned

me “sho fee??”
sara “r u still not talking to a7mad?”

I nodded to her and sighed.

sara “he came to me ams...”

I looked at her with curiosity

me “he did?”
sara “yaa , gal he needed someone to talk to..”
me “about me?”
sara “yeh...Listen.....i know ho ‘3la6, bs when he came ams he was ......kaif agool? mmmm like kan ...devistated...I’ve never seen him like this.......he kept asking me sara sho asawee...i don’t know kaif ara’9eeha i tried everything w his eyes were watery...I just didn’t know what to tell him I kept quiet b3dain gltela i’ll try talking to u bs he said u wont listen”

I took a deep breath and was thinking

sara “hey im not forcing you into doing anything....bss i just thought u’d want to know..”
me “thanks sara...”

she smiled to me and gave me a tight hug,

sara “yalla I’ll go open my stupid books uf”
me “hehe ok gdluck”

I smiled to her as she walked out closing the door behind her. I’m starting to feel sorry for him, he learnt his lesson right? Maybe I should move bl tadreej?

I laid down that afternoon on the couch, like how I have been for a while, until about 5 when a7mad came in

He had his head down with a gloomy face, I sat up and looked at him w decided to go for it

me “Salam 3alaikm”

He froze in his place for a second then lifted his head looking at me in disbelief

him “wa...w 3alaikm el salam”
me “how r u?”

I could see the anguish flow away and a pleased smile draw its way on his face

him “ okay... i guess...u?”
me “same.... u hungry?”

He almost jumped from excitement nodding

him “haaaaai wayd walla! 7a6een el ‘3da barra3”
me “ohh ok yalla”
him “laa la sit down bayeeblna 2 plates a7san”

He said with a wide grin putting his briefcase next to the door and rushing out...
I’ve really missed him..... I forgot what a kid he is................katkoot......

he came in with two plates in his hand and sat on the small table jdam el tv putting the two plates on it. I got up and sat down 3dala looking at the food

me “yumm!”
him “hehee! ro’9a’s back”

I turned and glared at him... bs he didn’t laugh this time....he was smiling ever so calmly

me “whaaT?”

I said blushing

a7mad “ha? sho what hehe?”
me “why are you staring at me like that”
a7mad “oh heh............I just......I’ve missed much”

he said with a sad smile. I smiled back, I wanted to hug him, every part of my body wanted it just get up and hug him, but I didn’t.......I said I’d start by talking to him... this can’t just go back like it used to, he has to understand that he can’t just lie to me

a7mad “ dont know laish u did it, bs im so so glad ur talking to me again.........mat3arfeen HOW glad”

he said with a tear in his eye, I didn’t say anything back, i didn’t want to tell him that sara or fatooma influenced me to do this, because it was majorly my choice

me “I just thought u learned your lesson....heh”

a7mad “You have to know something ro’’re the only one i love......I know you don’t believe me now....but I hope one day u do....because I mean it”

I was overwhelmed with feelings, The thing is a part of me truly believed him and the other part didn’t want to admit it. He probably noticed that I was getting nervous or something so he smiled his sexy grin

a7mad “ yalla EAT! hehe i didn’t get all this food for nothing”
me “heh..ok”

I smiled back to him, and started digging through my plate, I was so hungry! so was he haha
we watched tv w kenna was fun

a7mad “I’ve missed this”

I smiled and nodded to his sentence.....this guy makes my heart melt......... that is one thing i can not deny

a7mad “Oh! 9a7 My mom..............